You're staring @ [nanayaki.blogspot.com]
Contains nudity, violence, epic horrifying stories, wild temptations.
BEWARE M18!
Just kidding. Follow/Add me:
|
▸ わかりませんです。。。。 ... ♬
Saturday, May 5, 2012
♥ posted at: @9:07 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
I'm sorry. I really am. But the truth is still there.
I can't change it. All i can do is try to avoid it....
Today I woke up early to send my sister to school. Was exhausted and so instead of the weekly 2 hour wait for my sis to fetch her home at MacDonald, I went back home while Papa went to fetch her. I was trying to practice for my keyboard lesson in the morning before going for it at 11am.
Unfortunately, I forgot that there was no keyboard lesson today because it's vesak day.
Still...I was quite happy because i would then have more time to find a photo printing shop to print photos. What photos? *Secret*
went to Causeway Point but the printing shop there has too high of a rate.
$0.35/piece [3R or 4R]. Clementi has a shop whose rates is only $0.25/piece. SO much cheaper!
But I was tired and don't feel like goig all the way to Clementi so mama told me to just find a shop near Admiralty MRT Station since it would be cheaper there.
I found one but sadly its $0.30/piece and i still have to wait a few hours for it. As for the clementi one, tehy said i only have to wait for 30 mins.
So in the end, I went all the way to Clementi. Talking about the effort made just for that few $s difference. But it was worth it. I like the service there and the printing took less then 30 mins. And Cheap. I shall be printing my Harbin Pictures there also.
While i was waiting, I went to buy green capsicum and also hotdogs to make pizza but of course these were not the only items needed to bake it. I have the rest of the ingredients at home. Also went to try out Tutti Frutti, its a shop that sells Frozen Yoghurt and the interesting part is that we fill in the frozen yoghurt into the cup ourselves and also the topping too! Then all that's left would be the bring it to the cashier for weighing and Pay. Every 100gm, we would have to pay $3.00+ but there was an offer that day and I think it was about $2.80/100gm.
I took quite a lot actually since i didn't know how to properly control the amount that i'm getting out from that frozen yoghurt dispensing machine...Spent $6.80 for dessert.
Quite worth it but still kind of pricey i would say. Haha oh well, I will still come back for more!
Too bad i didn't take a picture of it.
:(
I'm waiting for a call... but until now my phone hasn't even ring once. I don't like smsing...
Why can't he just understand the OBVIOUS Hint and dial me up?
*EMO Mode*
またあとで！❤
|
▸ I Dunno ... ♬
♥ posted at: @12:09 AM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
What is wrong with me???
Everything should be getting better....
I even believed that something like this won't happen again but it did and i can't stop it.
It takes control over every single emotion that i have and everything will just go down the drain...
all hope gone, lost and difficult to get myself thinking straight again.
How am i to tell people that i'm not ok if they keep trying to deny the fact and choose to overlook the seriousness of this situation....
Th bites are so painful and sickening o look at.
I'm at fault...i always am...
I'll keep n trying to make sure that everything went well for the day but my feelings will just get in the way...make me go blank over a question that i can't answer and then the frustration will just keep building up and torture me.
Makes me torture myself and when forced to make a decision i feel like breaking down ad cry.
It's like as if I can't stand life anymore and i would feel like the only option for me is to knock myself out and make myself unconscious.
No one have any idea of how much i sometimes just wish i could shut myself up in a temporary coma before i start to continue hurting myself. When i came back form Harbin, school has benn fine and everything has been going out so well, i thought that i would no longer face the same problem.
Now i think my second round of nightmare has finally begun and there's no way to stop it once i start it.
Unless i go away for another few more week away from Singapore ad also more importantly, away from him.
BUt that would never happen... so what should i do now?
How can i stop myself? How do i control my feelings and not overreact?
Wat am i suppose to do now that i've wasted all the effort of trying to make him love me more and also just be himself around me...
I know that sometimes he would have to shut up and not say anything and just suck all the shit that ive put him through in. How do i make him understand that I KNOW.
I KNOW that he is suffering and it doesn't help pretending to be not. How do i make him understand that I am just sooo much more i a bad bad bad mood and also emo ttm when i know and realised that he is suffering.
I hate this feeling. I know that i will need to get his true self to open up to me and i've been trying.
It was better... i was getting better at it and sometimes it feels so right to be with him but now...after all the hurt and stupid shit, i think i've lost him.
I'm lost and i don't know what to do. I tried calling him but he just keep telling me to keep quiet and stop crying in an uncaring tone of voice that just makes me feel like what i've suspected is really true... I've lost him. his care-ness... his real self... his kindness... all the true ones... are all gone.
Left with only the fake ones that are just there to show and prove that he still care but actually he just want the day to end peacefully without any fights.
He didn't call....
He wasn't like last time where he would keep calling no matter what just so that he could have a word with me and calm me down...
but now... he called twice and that's it.
liek like he's trying to say "fine, don't pick up, I won't even bother to call you anymore" right to my face.
That's just what i'm feeling right now and the thought of it is so damn sad...
I'm so sad. I want to cry, i want to solve this, i want him.
I called and cried and he made me disappointed and now i wish he would call me back soo many times like last time like the crazy guy i once knew.........
but he's gone... for now.
またあとで！❤
|
▸ miss me? hehehe ... ♬
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
♥ posted at: @12:42 AM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
I really really really miss you blog!!!!! <3<3<3
So many things happened.
Some of them are rather better off not mentioned here.
MST just passed and i'm feel so relaxed though still very tired.
I also went for the Japanese Tea Gathering Ceremony to help my Sensei as a Chado demonstrator and also as a server. Chado is very interesting and it's quite fun!
I wish i could have the full tea set so that i could practice at home.
Very Lazy right now to upload the pics here.
I feel like going around shopping for a nice book for me to go and write my stuff in it.
Everything there is to be written, the sadness, the joy, the fun and exciting times...
Hiaz..BUT!
I would also need a LOCK.
To keep it out of reach and private from busybodies and prying hands.
hmm... wonder where i should get it.
It should be ard A4 size, prefer it to be plain (tho lines can be ok also) and it should also be LIGHT.
So that i can bring it with me everywhere.
Hmm... I'm aldy in shopping mode aldy now. haha.
I have new headphones! Its Shure and the sound quality is not bad.
Now i can finally understand the difference between the sound quality of my normal earpiece and old headphone when i compare it with this. This is damn awesome. And i shall gladly give the credit to my dear Kira. :) ありがとね！あいしてる！ははは。。。
またあとで！❤
|
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
♥ posted at: @11:07 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
HI blog. Miss me?
been long since I "touched" you.
Not too sure if its a good thing or bad thing. But i have a feeling that its good...
Ever since my injury, I've realized a lot of things.
My parents care a lot about me. Papa offered to fetch me back home from school yesterday and I was so happy! He even helped carry my heavy back and during the whole journey home, I was chatting away nonsense to him in the car but he listened all the way and answered me promptly. :) Mama would make me do less work and she would also be the one who sometimes send down our cooked products to the downstairs minimart instead of me.
My sisters also cared about me and I can feel how much they love me.
Natasha would always come and make jokes and make me laugh. Emelia, the baby Sumo, would be the one telling me to walk slowly and take my time. "Be careful kak." or "Slowly Slowly ok kak?", She would say.
Cute sisters. Awesome sisters. Lovable sisters.
But actually Natasha already stated our nicks already.
またあとで！❤
been long since I "touched" you.
Not too sure if its a good thing or bad thing. But i have a feeling that its good...
Ever since my injury, I've realized a lot of things.
My parents care a lot about me. Papa offered to fetch me back home from school yesterday and I was so happy! He even helped carry my heavy back and during the whole journey home, I was chatting away nonsense to him in the car but he listened all the way and answered me promptly. :) Mama would make me do less work and she would also be the one who sometimes send down our cooked products to the downstairs minimart instead of me.
My sisters also cared about me and I can feel how much they love me.
Natasha would always come and make jokes and make me laugh. Emelia, the baby Sumo, would be the one telling me to walk slowly and take my time. "Be careful kak." or "Slowly Slowly ok kak?", She would say.
Cute sisters. Awesome sisters. Lovable sisters.
But actually Natasha already stated our nicks already.
She said:
Diana : Weird Sister
Natasha: Crazy Sister
Emelia: *I forgot* :/
ALSO.
not forgetting the most obvious thing that should have realised even before my unfortunate event.
I have a very caring and loving boyfriend.
- Sends me to school every single day.
- Always try to fetch me home, but usually couldn't since i end earlier then his work hours.
- Always want to buy me Frappie! and make me smile!
Need I say more? :D
He's been very very stress and busy with work nowadays. :(
Now when he's the one being more stress, I feel a bit lost of what i should do.
Had tried to cheer him up by playing around like a prank but that didn't end up quite like how i expected it to be... And I've been making up ideas of how i could cheer him and his friends (who are also stress with work just like him) up. *THINKS HARD*
School have been "School-like" with the normal lessons, attention leaking lectures, freezing cold classrooms, funny crazy friends, boring project assignments, snacking in class as usual, spamming each other in class, playing around with lecturers, sabotaging leadership roles, random active discussions....blabla... I just love school. For me, nothing is ever boring in school. I'm glad of the circle of friends that I have around me.
*smile smile smile*
Oh! and one other thing. I've been typing alot faster recently. Probably because I've finaly got used o my computer. I've made up my mind to take care of this laptop which i named "Toppy" until the very end. A very precious laptop which had gone through all the hardships and memorable stuff in SP. yay~
Going to go for a Japanese Tea Making Course tomorrow with my Japanese teacher, Naito Sensei.
She's a very small and cute teacher who has very interesting ways to express herself. Maybe all the Japanese people do that. I find her very adorable. Haha. I should remember to bring white socks tomorrow! She said we'll be in a room with tatami mats. Seems fun. Can't wait!
Need I say more? :D
He's been very very stress and busy with work nowadays. :(
Now when he's the one being more stress, I feel a bit lost of what i should do.
Had tried to cheer him up by playing around like a prank but that didn't end up quite like how i expected it to be... And I've been making up ideas of how i could cheer him and his friends (who are also stress with work just like him) up. *THINKS HARD*
School have been "School-like" with the normal lessons, attention leaking lectures, freezing cold classrooms, funny crazy friends, boring project assignments, snacking in class as usual, spamming each other in class, playing around with lecturers, sabotaging leadership roles, random active discussions....blabla... I just love school. For me, nothing is ever boring in school. I'm glad of the circle of friends that I have around me.
*smile smile smile*
Oh! and one other thing. I've been typing alot faster recently. Probably because I've finaly got used o my computer. I've made up my mind to take care of this laptop which i named "Toppy" until the very end. A very precious laptop which had gone through all the hardships and memorable stuff in SP. yay~
Going to go for a Japanese Tea Making Course tomorrow with my Japanese teacher, Naito Sensei.
She's a very small and cute teacher who has very interesting ways to express herself. Maybe all the Japanese people do that. I find her very adorable. Haha. I should remember to bring white socks tomorrow! She said we'll be in a room with tatami mats. Seems fun. Can't wait!
またあとで！❤
|
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
♥ posted at: @12:24 AM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
Currently having break in school and bored....
Though i know i have loads of stuff to do... hmm
I'm lazy to do any revision notes wight now.
Tomorrow is Deepavali! So guess i'll do it tomorrow or maybe tonight.
Zhi Jie and Pei Ying discussing about IPhone 4S and HTC Sensation XE which comes with D Beats.
SO COOL!!! But whats more cool is...
HTC Sensation XL! *WHITE*
SO SO SO SUPER DUPER COOL!!!!
*Melts*
I WANT! <3<3<3
Just look at that awesome headset! omggggggggggggg...............
AND ITS WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*I'm in a crazy and high mode every single time i see it!*
またあとで！❤
Though i know i have loads of stuff to do... hmm
I'm lazy to do any revision notes wight now.
Tomorrow is Deepavali! So guess i'll do it tomorrow or maybe tonight.
Zhi Jie and Pei Ying discussing about IPhone 4S and HTC Sensation XE which comes with D Beats.
SO COOL!!! But whats more cool is...
HTC Sensation XL! *WHITE*
SO SO SO SUPER DUPER COOL!!!!
*Melts*
I WANT! <3<3<3
Just look at that awesome headset! omggggggggggggg...............
AND ITS WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*I'm in a crazy and high mode every single time i see it!*
またあとで！❤
|
Monday, October 24, 2011
♥ posted at: @11:30 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
MONDAY!
Feels like I've just started school today and not last week.
Kira sent me to school today. Sweet~ and bought me Milo to fill my tummy Awesome~
I was walking SuPeR DuPeR SLOW in school yet again but funny thing is, at the end of the day, i was walking quite fast...
But it still hurts and bend my knee.
So there's still the limitation of :
- NO Squatting
- NO Folding Of Legs
- NO walking Up the stairs starting with the right leg
blablabla.... anything that includes bending of knees.
Mama and Papa went to Johor today.
Today is their Anniversary! :)
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PAPA MAMA! <3<3<3
I made them this delicious Molten Lava Cake~ It may look cracked, but its really yummy and chocolatey.
So far the best cake I've ever bake. *Though this is only the 3rd one that I've made*
Next I'm going to try and make BREAD PUDDING....uhmmm yum yum!
またあとで！❤
Feels like I've just started school today and not last week.
Kira sent me to school today. Sweet~ and bought me Milo to fill my tummy Awesome~
I was walking SuPeR DuPeR SLOW in school yet again but funny thing is, at the end of the day, i was walking quite fast...
But it still hurts and bend my knee.
So there's still the limitation of :
- NO Squatting
- NO Folding Of Legs
- NO walking Up the stairs starting with the right leg
blablabla.... anything that includes bending of knees.
Mama and Papa went to Johor today.
Today is their Anniversary! :)
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY PAPA MAMA! <3<3<3
I made them this delicious Molten Lava Cake~ It may look cracked, but its really yummy and chocolatey.
So far the best cake I've ever bake. *Though this is only the 3rd one that I've made*
Next I'm going to try and make BREAD PUDDING....uhmmm yum yum!
Awesome much?
MACARONI
(My specialty? I think... seems like I always cook this best... hahahah)
Come to think of it, I've not cook okonomiyaki for a looonnggg time already.
SHALL DO IT!
またあとで！❤
|
Saturday, October 22, 2011
♥ posted at: @7:39 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
I sprained my leg... OWW...
and it has been 4 days and it's still damn painful to move/bend my legs too much.
:(
I need to heal sooonnn.... *cries*
sprained happened when I was running to Sembawang at night on Monday.
The pain was so unexpected, felt like my knees give way etto... like the joint dislocated and went back in again.
Sound painful doesn't it?
YES IT IS! I feel like a handicapped when I came back to school on Friday after 3 days MC.
Although the Doctor gave me 4 days MC, there is still that irritating Gut feeling that i should be in school and trying to catch up with my classmates as soon as possible, so I went back to school....
AND...I regretted it...=.="
Today, I walk more slower than before and more "weirdly".
It's definitely not getting any better.
This worries me, what if there's really something wrong with my knee?
or joint... and I'll have to act like a very young Obachan....???
Please please... praying that I'll heal soon! So that i can go back to school without slowing everybody else...
Or at least so that Zhi Jie won't complain that i'm walking very slloowww...
But even though i suffered with this injury and all, there is a light behind all this suffering.
I found out how awesomely caring and panic my boyfriend can be when he got news of me in that situation.
And i can't believe i even cried in pain while talking to him on the phone. I should have just suck in all the sound that i was making and act like there's no pain. I made him really really worried.
But i guess trying to act tough is totally out of the question because it seriously hurt like hell. (>.>)
Then Kira went all the way from his work to KTP Hospital Emergency clinic ASAP.
He even arrived there sonner than us, because my father got a bit lost and we had a little time at home to check if i really do need to see a doctor that night. But lucky Doc said there's no fracture. :)
Papa and Mama went to Batam today, dating...
Its their Anniversary in 2 days.
Wonder if i should prepare something for them. But what?
I feel like making a big donut which says "HAPPY 19th ANNIVERSARY" around it.
Hehhe...
oh yah, today i cooked Butter Prawn Karage Chicken. Sweet~
It was nice...But i think there's too much butter. Oh well..
Next time shall make it even more crunchier with less butter. ;p
I should go and study now,
have been very interested about joining this... but... hmm...
http://www.thepeoplestudio.sg/
- check it out -
Chiao!
またあとで！❤
and it has been 4 days and it's still damn painful to move/bend my legs too much.
:(
I need to heal sooonnn.... *cries*
sprained happened when I was running to Sembawang at night on Monday.
The pain was so unexpected, felt like my knees give way etto... like the joint dislocated and went back in again.
Sound painful doesn't it?
YES IT IS! I feel like a handicapped when I came back to school on Friday after 3 days MC.
Although the Doctor gave me 4 days MC, there is still that irritating Gut feeling that i should be in school and trying to catch up with my classmates as soon as possible, so I went back to school....
AND...I regretted it...=.="
Today, I walk more slower than before and more "weirdly".
It's definitely not getting any better.
This worries me, what if there's really something wrong with my knee?
or joint... and I'll have to act like a very young Obachan....???
Please please... praying that I'll heal soon! So that i can go back to school without slowing everybody else...
Or at least so that Zhi Jie won't complain that i'm walking very slloowww...
But even though i suffered with this injury and all, there is a light behind all this suffering.
I found out how awesomely caring and panic my boyfriend can be when he got news of me in that situation.
And i can't believe i even cried in pain while talking to him on the phone. I should have just suck in all the sound that i was making and act like there's no pain. I made him really really worried.
But i guess trying to act tough is totally out of the question because it seriously hurt like hell. (>.>)
Then Kira went all the way from his work to KTP Hospital Emergency clinic ASAP.
He even arrived there sonner than us, because my father got a bit lost and we had a little time at home to check if i really do need to see a doctor that night. But lucky Doc said there's no fracture. :)
Papa and Mama went to Batam today, dating...
Its their Anniversary in 2 days.
Wonder if i should prepare something for them. But what?
I feel like making a big donut which says "HAPPY 19th ANNIVERSARY" around it.
Hehhe...
oh yah, today i cooked Butter Prawn Karage Chicken. Sweet~
It was nice...But i think there's too much butter. Oh well..
Next time shall make it even more crunchier with less butter. ;p
I should go and study now,
have been very interested about joining this... but... hmm...
http://www.thepeoplestudio.sg/
- check it out -
Chiao!
またあとで！❤
|
Sunday, October 16, 2011
♥ posted at: @11:37 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
Its SO Confusing yet so simple.
I think I'm going crazy already.
Dear God, please open up my heart and lead me to the right road...
Went for a night run... (have been doing this for 2 weeks aldy, a few times a week...)
Its very relaxing and refreshing especially when it's drizzling.
Today, He came straight after work to run with me. *slaps forehead*
I seriously don't know what to think or do or feel. I'm still in the state of confusion and its not going away as easily as I would like it to. Oh well... what is done and said is already done and said. All i can do now is to just try to live like normal (especially in front of my parents because they are very very sensitive about my relationship --> Mostly my mother )
Just now we ran together and I tried my best to kindda "ignore" him but its always impossible to "ignore" him.
oh well...
lets see what's going to happen...
he did made me smile tho today...
i feel a little tini wiiniie bit better...
またあとで！❤
I think I'm going crazy already.
Dear God, please open up my heart and lead me to the right road...
Went for a night run... (have been doing this for 2 weeks aldy, a few times a week...)
Its very relaxing and refreshing especially when it's drizzling.
Today, He came straight after work to run with me. *slaps forehead*
I seriously don't know what to think or do or feel. I'm still in the state of confusion and its not going away as easily as I would like it to. Oh well... what is done and said is already done and said. All i can do now is to just try to live like normal (especially in front of my parents because they are very very sensitive about my relationship --> Mostly my mother )
Just now we ran together and I tried my best to kindda "ignore" him but its always impossible to "ignore" him.
oh well...
lets see what's going to happen...
he did made me smile tho today...
i feel a little tini wiiniie bit better...
またあとで！❤
|
Saturday, October 15, 2011
♥ posted at: @10:14 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
Hey there..
I'm back...
and guess what?? I'm always back when something is wrong...
SO... SOMETHING IS WRONG.
*purposely made it obvious*
Seriously, I always thought that there is something wrong with me but the truth is, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with me.
The difference and the cause of my so called mood swings is just because of one simple but stupid reason.
What do i want?
- I want to be happy in a relationship with the person I truly LOVE.
So... Are you happy?
- I guess I am just not happy about certain stuff. Although I am quite happy about some stuff...
What are you happy about and what are you unhappy about?
- Happy about how my bf is always there for me, always trying his best, always being so nice to me no matter how harsh my words and behavior can be towards him. I'm not happy about how he sees things in our relationship. It feels like if i don't give him a straight answer that i will be with him forever, he might end up giving up.... It feels like he wants a sure confirm answer that i would not fall for other guys in the future so that everything that he's doing now would not be in vain and the problem is... I can't give him the answer that he wants to hear.
How am i suppose to answer him if he asks me if i would stay and forever be with him until the end of time?
We've only known each other for around 6 months and I've only started to fall in love with him like only a few months back. Probably about 3 months ago? After he have tried his best to win my heart.
But So many things have happened in such a short time. So many quarrels and arguments. So much sadness and pain... So many doubts... Sure there is happiness and laughter in between. who can stand being in a fight for such a long time anyway?
But one problem comes after another. We are acting worst than a married couple.
He knows his feelings very well and he's making me be aware of his feelings every single day. He loves me, he misses me, i'm everything to him....but he forgot one other important thing. What about my feelings?
I've told him so many times that my love for him is not as big his but i will try. I'm giving myself too many chances to open my heart and love him more. However its very difficult when things got very stormy every single weekend. Our phone calls were always meant for loud arguments or awkward silences.
What is this? I mean... should a couple in a relationship be like this? we're not even a couple for long but we're already facing so many problems... What about the future? Are we going to continue on being like this? Then what about those movies and dreams I've had about being able to be with that one person whom I would always think about and would sacrifice almost everything for him. Where did that feeling go?
Why isn't my heart reacting to all his efforts to make me happy?
What i really want... Is to have someone who I myself would do anything for... Like in fairytales, I want my one True Love.
but He's not....
またあとで！❤
I'm back...
and guess what?? I'm always back when something is wrong...
SO... SOMETHING IS WRONG.
*purposely made it obvious*
Seriously, I always thought that there is something wrong with me but the truth is, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with me.
The difference and the cause of my so called mood swings is just because of one simple but stupid reason.
I.Am.Confused.
Confuse about whether I'm making the right decision, confuse on what I should do to make things a lot more easier for my relationship to go on smoothly... or maybe i don't even have the slightest idea on what i really really want. So since i'm ranting out everything single thing on MY BLOG, I shall just say everything that comes to my mind (whether it make sense or not is up to nobody).What do i want?
- I want to be happy in a relationship with the person I truly LOVE.
So... Are you happy?
- I guess I am just not happy about certain stuff. Although I am quite happy about some stuff...
What are you happy about and what are you unhappy about?
- Happy about how my bf is always there for me, always trying his best, always being so nice to me no matter how harsh my words and behavior can be towards him. I'm not happy about how he sees things in our relationship. It feels like if i don't give him a straight answer that i will be with him forever, he might end up giving up.... It feels like he wants a sure confirm answer that i would not fall for other guys in the future so that everything that he's doing now would not be in vain and the problem is... I can't give him the answer that he wants to hear.
How am i suppose to answer him if he asks me if i would stay and forever be with him until the end of time?
We've only known each other for around 6 months and I've only started to fall in love with him like only a few months back. Probably about 3 months ago? After he have tried his best to win my heart.
But So many things have happened in such a short time. So many quarrels and arguments. So much sadness and pain... So many doubts... Sure there is happiness and laughter in between. who can stand being in a fight for such a long time anyway?
But one problem comes after another. We are acting worst than a married couple.
He knows his feelings very well and he's making me be aware of his feelings every single day. He loves me, he misses me, i'm everything to him....but he forgot one other important thing. What about my feelings?
I've told him so many times that my love for him is not as big his but i will try. I'm giving myself too many chances to open my heart and love him more. However its very difficult when things got very stormy every single weekend. Our phone calls were always meant for loud arguments or awkward silences.
What is this? I mean... should a couple in a relationship be like this? we're not even a couple for long but we're already facing so many problems... What about the future? Are we going to continue on being like this? Then what about those movies and dreams I've had about being able to be with that one person whom I would always think about and would sacrifice almost everything for him. Where did that feeling go?
Why isn't my heart reacting to all his efforts to make me happy?
What i really want... Is to have someone who I myself would do anything for... Like in fairytales, I want my one True Love.
but He's not....
またあとで！❤
|
Saturday, October 1, 2011
♥ posted at: @1:10 AM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
Have been gone/disappeared/vanished for for the pass few days....
Problems here and there...
Confusion, sadness, frustration, anger...
I'm still confused though but right now i shall be happy for the sake of those around me.
Acting might not be something i'm good act, hence, the reason why mama would always know when something is totally wrong and she would bring me out of the house. She don't want to see me moping around anymore.
:)
So the big question would be "What happened?"
and the answer would be "I'm too lazy to explain and type everything in words in blogger."
But the main point is
- Big Problem (obviously is a relationship problem)
- Sad sad sad Emo emo emo Angry angry angry Cry cry cry
- Lose Trust, Hopes crushed, Confidence went down the drain
- Parents involved and took action
Final Conclusion From Parents: Me and Kira are suppose to be "JUST FRIENDS".
Final Conclusion From Me: "JUST FRIENDS" is definitely IMPOSSIBLE.
So what now?
I have no Idea =/
We are "friends" who love each other?
or "Bf/Gf" who are not really treating each other like "Bf/Gf" because my father has made it clear that we are only "friends"...
AHHH! I'm getting myself hay-wired....
Sadly, I find it odd.
またあとで！❤
Problems here and there...
Confusion, sadness, frustration, anger...
I'm still confused though but right now i shall be happy for the sake of those around me.
Acting might not be something i'm good act, hence, the reason why mama would always know when something is totally wrong and she would bring me out of the house. She don't want to see me moping around anymore.
:)
So the big question would be "What happened?"
and the answer would be "I'm too lazy to explain and type everything in words in blogger."
But the main point is
- Big Problem (obviously is a relationship problem)
- Sad sad sad Emo emo emo Angry angry angry Cry cry cry
- Lose Trust, Hopes crushed, Confidence went down the drain
- Parents involved and took action
Final Conclusion From Parents: Me and Kira are suppose to be "JUST FRIENDS".
Final Conclusion From Me: "JUST FRIENDS" is definitely IMPOSSIBLE.
Why?
I still feel like he's my boyfriend because he tried super duper hard to get me back
&
I know that even after so many doubts and problems, doesn't mean I don't <3 him anymore.
*Of course I still DO!*
How can possibly ignore the strong feelings that Kira have for me? Its too hard to be "JUST FRIENDS" when we still love each other and still treat each other almost like how we used to be...
*Only difference is that I restrict myself with the words I use....I think only Kira would understand this part.*
So what now?
I have no Idea =/
We are "friends" who love each other?
or "Bf/Gf" who are not really treating each other like "Bf/Gf" because my father has made it clear that we are only "friends"...
AHHH! I'm getting myself hay-wired....
Sadly, I find it odd.
またあとで！❤
|
Thursday, September 22, 2011
♥ posted at: @10:02 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
Had a good time at Zoe's House today.
first thing we did was hold a an Origami Session. HAhaha.
She taught me how to make this nice origami flower. (I've forgot the name :/ )
またあとで！❤
first thing we did was hold a an Origami Session. HAhaha.
She taught me how to make this nice origami flower. (I've forgot the name :/ )
<3
Then after the Origami session, Zoe showed me some funny Youtube Vids..
Next (The best part), she teach me the dance moves of this. (^_^)
またあとで！❤
|
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
♥ posted at: @11:59 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
Stayed at home today. :)
I've been busy making pizza and roti boyan to sell at the shop downstairs.
Started since Monday. Monday and Tuesday sold 8 boxes of pizza each day and 4 boxes left..
Today sold 10 boxes of roti boyan...All finished. Good good.
I think selling Roti Boyan makes more profit den selling Pizza.
Since selling pizza has a very high cost price..especially because of the mozzarella cheese.
Yesterday is a good day i would say.
Morning was AWESOME. Because I've got my Exam Results!
And yes it i Super duper unexpectedly Awesome! <3
I was flying high when I saw the email.
Wonder hoe the rest did. I know some of my friends had dropped and some improved a lot.
Oh well... Congrats to those are happy with their results!
Then in the afternoon went to watch Johnny English at The Cathay with Kira...
The plan was to have a double date with My cousin and her Boyfriend BUT the bf is busy And my cousin went MIA. I shall say no more.... =.="
*Pissed mode*
Kira had 2 rewards for me. \(^_^)/
1) FRAPPE (As Usual)
2) PLayed Wii Games at St. Games. (SG's first video gaming shop)... kakoi des...
Had fun...but i have no idea why I was a bit moody.
My mood swings are quite unexpected. Hated it but still....its me.
またあとで！❤
I've been busy making pizza and roti boyan to sell at the shop downstairs.
Started since Monday. Monday and Tuesday sold 8 boxes of pizza each day and 4 boxes left..
Today sold 10 boxes of roti boyan...All finished. Good good.
I think selling Roti Boyan makes more profit den selling Pizza.
Since selling pizza has a very high cost price..especially because of the mozzarella cheese.
Yesterday is a good day i would say.
Morning was AWESOME. Because I've got my Exam Results!
And yes it i Super duper unexpectedly Awesome! <3
I was flying high when I saw the email.
Wonder hoe the rest did. I know some of my friends had dropped and some improved a lot.
Oh well... Congrats to those are happy with their results!
Then in the afternoon went to watch Johnny English at The Cathay with Kira...
The plan was to have a double date with My cousin and her Boyfriend BUT the bf is busy And my cousin went MIA. I shall say no more.... =.="*Pissed mode*
Kira had 2 rewards for me. \(^_^)/
1) FRAPPE (As Usual)
2) PLayed Wii Games at St. Games. (SG's first video gaming shop)... kakoi des...
Had fun...but i have no idea why I was a bit moody.
My mood swings are quite unexpected. Hated it but still....its me.
またあとで！❤
|
Monday, September 19, 2011
♥ posted at: @1:08 AM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
On a lovely drizzling Saturday,
me and Kira went to celebrate his friend, Esmond, 23rd BIRTHDAY at their office.
We had birthday cake, presents (a 12yrOld Whisky from Adeline, Wooden Name from Kira and a Lamp from me), ready cameras and a birthday boy. All was well and we made it as a surprise since he didn't know that Adeline's Boyfriend and Me is coming along.
Too bad the celebration was quick because there was still customers in need of attention.
Next, the 5 of us ate at Swensen at Suntec but before that they wanted to say "Hi" to an old "friend" of theirs whom they had worked with and has a shop at Suntec. Its always funny to see how they like to let loose their evil side whenever this "friend" of theirs became the main topic.
Swensen Is Awesome!
I ate their Creamy Mushroom Soup. Oiishi~
Shall be treating my parents to Swensen using my Hari Raya money soon. :)
Today! (yesterday actually since its aldy 1am in the morning...=.=")
We went for Raya...
Only visited 3 houses. 2 of them having an Open House for the YISS (Yusof Ishak Secondary School) people, my Mother's batch, and the last house is Cik June's House, My Mother's Best Friend.
There were loads of fun and laughter as usual. They were like hyper active people who seem to get so high whenever they open their mouth.
But it's good though, meeting old secondary school friends and sharing stories from the ancient times... hahaha.
またあとで！❤
me and Kira went to celebrate his friend, Esmond, 23rd BIRTHDAY at their office.
We had birthday cake, presents (a 12yrOld Whisky from Adeline, Wooden Name from Kira and a Lamp from me), ready cameras and a birthday boy. All was well and we made it as a surprise since he didn't know that Adeline's Boyfriend and Me is coming along.
Too bad the celebration was quick because there was still customers in need of attention.
Next, the 5 of us ate at Swensen at Suntec but before that they wanted to say "Hi" to an old "friend" of theirs whom they had worked with and has a shop at Suntec. Its always funny to see how they like to let loose their evil side whenever this "friend" of theirs became the main topic.
Swensen Is Awesome!
I ate their Creamy Mushroom Soup. Oiishi~
Shall be treating my parents to Swensen using my Hari Raya money soon. :)
Today! (yesterday actually since its aldy 1am in the morning...=.=")
We went for Raya...
Only visited 3 houses. 2 of them having an Open House for the YISS (Yusof Ishak Secondary School) people, my Mother's batch, and the last house is Cik June's House, My Mother's Best Friend.
There were loads of fun and laughter as usual. They were like hyper active people who seem to get so high whenever they open their mouth.
But it's good though, meeting old secondary school friends and sharing stories from the ancient times... hahaha.
またあとで！❤
|
Friday, September 16, 2011
♥ posted at: @10:02 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
Where was I yesterday?
Hmm... went for our Big Date with Kira which I have planned...
but it didn't really go that well...
First - cycling @ECP.
Second - Went to Suntec then to Marina SQ (Suppose to get neoprints and buy "something")
Third - (Suppose to bring that "Something" and go "Somewhere")
Something...Somewhere...Secret...
Because we didn't get to do it because we ran out of time...
So it shall be a surprise for our next date :)
Oh well... can't be helped.
At least we got our Neoprints at CWP TimeZone.
It's hard to trust...to love...and...to be happy when there are so many different opinions of what we should do and how things should go. I detest this feeling. Understanding is a difficult task. Especially when closed thoughts are present for the other party to decipher....it's a dreadful but useful necessity.
Some memories are hard and painful and better forgotten while others are those of joy and should never leave our minds. But what of those memories which are just plainly stupid and disgusting but is part of a wonderful occasion? Better forgotten or better ignored?
However, ignoring is never really much of an option....
For some reason,
I don't think I can do anything anymore...
またあとで！❤
Hmm... went for our Big Date with Kira which I have planned...
but it didn't really go that well...
Some nice park~
I like this picture. Feels like we're in some other cold country.
Rental Bikes.
Second - Went to Suntec then to Marina SQ (Suppose to get neoprints and buy "something")
Third - (Suppose to bring that "Something" and go "Somewhere")
Something...Somewhere...Secret...
Because we didn't get to do it because we ran out of time...
So it shall be a surprise for our next date :)
Oh well... can't be helped.
At least we got our Neoprints at CWP TimeZone.
It's hard to trust...to love...and...to be happy when there are so many different opinions of what we should do and how things should go. I detest this feeling. Understanding is a difficult task. Especially when closed thoughts are present for the other party to decipher....it's a dreadful but useful necessity.
Some memories are hard and painful and better forgotten while others are those of joy and should never leave our minds. But what of those memories which are just plainly stupid and disgusting but is part of a wonderful occasion? Better forgotten or better ignored?
However, ignoring is never really much of an option....
For some reason,
I don't think I can do anything anymore...
またあとで！❤
|
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
♥ posted at: @10:58 PM 0 wishes // make a wish? |
Had a fun day today. OH ya!
I'm not done posting about the Open House....Ohwell...
I guess I could say that although Open House can be very tiring and gets you eating almost every hour because of that human nature that just couldn't bare to just simply stare at all those good food on the buffet table for long hours and not touching it.
Luckily I also have the other sense of guilt of eating too much hence, consumption was little. :)
On Monday, I ran and sweat a lot...yay.
Den on Tuesday! Went Shopping for new shoes with my twin Zoe (Kaoru).
*Kaoru is the character name of one of the twins which we both love in OHHC Anime*
Ouran Highschool Host Club is an awesome anime. Better catch it if u haven't. I've just heard from Kira's friend, Hairul, that there is a Drama of it! YAY! I'm SO gonna watch it and also Hayate The Combat Butler (Taiwanese Drama - Zoe recommended it)
Oops... i Think i went out of topic.
So... Me and Zoe met at City Hall interchange after Zoe ended her meeting in Esplanade and breakfast with her friends...then we started hunting for my new shoes!
But actually, I was suppose to meet her at Marina Square at first but due to my dumbness of thinking that Marina Square is probably near Marina Bay, I skipped past City Hall and Raffles Place. =.="
When I alighted at Marina Bay, I realized that I needed a big slap on my head.The only thing there was a shuttle bus to Marina Barrage!
Well, at least I think I did enjoy being in an almost empty train. It was spooky and cool. Even took pictures.
LOL.
Entered "Rubi" and was admiring at a pair of cool grey shoes with buckle.
But decided to walk around first at Marina Sq and come back IF fate does not lead me to any other shoes.
Tmr will be a tiring day.
Going out for a date with KIRA.
FINALLY.
And this time, i'm the planner.
The only thing he knows is that we're going cycling tmr but he has no idea whats up next.
wee~ i'm excited. haha.
Must make sure i have enough money.
またあとで！❤
I'm not done posting about the Open House....Ohwell...
I guess I could say that although Open House can be very tiring and gets you eating almost every hour because of that human nature that just couldn't bare to just simply stare at all those good food on the buffet table for long hours and not touching it.
Luckily I also have the other sense of guilt of eating too much hence, consumption was little. :)
On Monday, I ran and sweat a lot...yay.
Den on Tuesday! Went Shopping for new shoes with my twin Zoe (Kaoru).
*Kaoru is the character name of one of the twins which we both love in OHHC Anime*
Ouran Highschool Host Club is an awesome anime. Better catch it if u haven't. I've just heard from Kira's friend, Hairul, that there is a Drama of it! YAY! I'm SO gonna watch it and also Hayate The Combat Butler (Taiwanese Drama - Zoe recommended it)
Oops... i Think i went out of topic.
So... Me and Zoe met at City Hall interchange after Zoe ended her meeting in Esplanade and breakfast with her friends...then we started hunting for my new shoes!
But actually, I was suppose to meet her at Marina Square at first but due to my dumbness of thinking that Marina Square is probably near Marina Bay, I skipped past City Hall and Raffles Place. =.="
When I alighted at Marina Bay, I realized that I needed a big slap on my head.The only thing there was a shuttle bus to Marina Barrage!
Well, at least I think I did enjoy being in an almost empty train. It was spooky and cool. Even took pictures.
LOL.
HAHA. ALONE. :)
Entered "Rubi" and was admiring at a pair of cool grey shoes with buckle.
But decided to walk around first at Marina Sq and come back IF fate does not lead me to any other shoes.
In the end we're back at "rubi" and torn between two choices.
Black looks gothic punk...Grey looks cool and cute.
@Marina Square. I SO WANT THIS.
The kind of perfect stuff that I need - DictionaryBookmark
random~ hehehe
After buying the shoes, we went back home together ad shop a little more around Causeway Point.
Zoe bought 2 3D Puzzles @Popular and I bought Black and White Shoelaces!
To make THIS!
Checkered shoelace. Zoe helped me.
I think she's much better at it then me. Arigato!
YUP... and thats all for yesterday.
Today, Mama, me and my sisters went to watch Contagion at CWP.
Its.... uh... good? I guess. I kind of gained a lot of knowledge from it. Like whats going to happen if such a pandemic occurs...quite cool but it'll be boring for some people.
After that, we walked around CWP as usual and ate at Texas Chicken.
I still prefer KFC. <3
Saw this at Pet's Station.
Its for Hamsters... haha eww.
But they're all dead tho.
Nites... I'll end here.Tmr will be a tiring day.
Going out for a date with KIRA.
FINALLY.
And this time, i'm the planner.
The only thing he knows is that we're going cycling tmr but he has no idea whats up next.
wee~ i'm excited. haha.
Must make sure i have enough money.
またあとで！❤
